Christians shouldn’t get married’. That’s an idea that has cropped up in the history of church time and again. Generally it is an erroneous idea that has hampered the gospel. In fact in the New Testament in 1 Timothy chapter 4 Paul warns us to be on our guard against false teachers who forbid marriage.

The Roman Catholic teaching that all priests should be single has often caused problems because it fails to recognise the reality of male sexuality, although no doubt there have been many priests who have lived devout celibate lives, for centuries there have been priests with mistresses or concubines. We are also tragically aware of some of the terrible cases of child abuse that supposedly celibate priests have been guilty of in the recent past.

One result of the reformation was that the celibate priesthood was abolished in the reformed churches, and particularly in Germany Luther undertook to find suitable marriage partners for the priests and nuns. In fact Martin Luther himself got married to Katharina who had been a nun. He noticed the difference. After not having his bedclothes changed fore several years there were clean sheets! They had a family and a happy home.

Another instance of this idea that Christians should all be single was the shaker movement. An English lady called Ann Lee who had had tragic experiences of marriage and children dying in infancy formed the shakers and established shaker communities in the United States when she emigrated there in 1784. Groups of men and groups of women lived in separate accommodation. Their form of worship was very lively with dancing, and shaking. They were very industrious. One of the things they made was quality furniture with a very distinct style that is still around today, you can see shaker style furniture in catalogues and showrooms. No marriage meant there were not any children, so today the shaker movement has virtually disappeared.

There also seems to have been folk at Corinth who were suggesting that Christians should not marry. We come now to the point in the letter where Paul begins to reply to the things that the Corinthians had raised in their letter. It seem most likely that they wanted to know what Paul thought of this idea that Christians shouldn’t marry. Because they asked that question we have here in this chapter Paul’s teaching on the subject, which he deals with in some detail. His teaching takes account of the fact that people are different, and that situations are different.

There is not the same solution to every problem, so please bear with me as we look at the different aspects of the subject that Paul raises. It is just as relevant in our day and age as it was then, and will continue to be so, for this a subject every generation has to face. Lets look at what God’s word teaches here in this chapter about marriage.

The first point that Paul makes, and this is in verse 1-6 is that marriage is normal. It is quite ok for Christians to get married. ‘Each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband’ writes Paul. This is an acknowledgement that people are sexual beings. God made us the way we are with a need to relate in love and commitment. God ordained the institution of the family as a building block of society. Two of the Ten Commandments relate directly to the family unit. Honour your father and mother. You shall not commit adultery.

Paul was telling the Corinthians that there is a wholesome alternative to the loveless sex practised in the temple of Aphrodite the goddess of love there in Corinth. Paul makes it clear in those verses that marriage is a physical relationship. A physical relationship that operates on the principle of love in which partners understand that their part in the relationship is to give fulfilment to the other. Paul teaches that love doesn’t refuse happiness or affection, but rather seeks to give these things. Marriage is a sacred relationship. Jesus refers to a married couple as a unit, which God has joined together. Marriage is good.

But then Paul moves on in verse 7 to remind them that there is an alternative to marriage. Paul himself is not married, and commends that as a noble alternative, he says ‘I wish that all men were as I am’. Paul says it is good to be married, but it is also good to be single. In that verse 7 we also see a factor that can determine whether a person is single or married. That factor is what gift God has given a person. Some have one gift some have another.

In particular, it is a special gift to be single. That is the gift Paul has. This idea of it being a gift to be single doesn’t originate with Paul. It comes form Jesus himself. In Mathew 19 we find Jesus’ disciples reeling rather with shock when Jesus tells them that God intended marriage to be for life. They ask Jesus if that is the case if it is best to be single.

Jesus replies in Matthew 19 v 11 ‘Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given’. Jesus is saying not everyone can be single, his words affirm the same teaching that Paul gave that we have already looked at, many people are made in such a way that they need to marry. But to some people God has given the gift to be single. Jesus goes on to say that there are those people who have accepted being single for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. In fact that was what Jesus had done himself.

So Paul goes on to address the people who are not married. His advice to them, if they are able, if they have the gift of self-control is to stay single. On the other hand if they need to express their sexuality then it is best for them to marry. People need to make an honest assessment of themselves and choose accordingly.

In verse 10 we move on to a teaching about marriage that is distinctly Christian. Paul makes a very clear distinction here. He is not passing on his own advice or counsel. He is passing on a command from Jesus himself. Marriage is for life. A wife must not desert her husband. There is an acknowledgement that in some circumstances it sadly does become the only way, and in that case then the right thing to do is to for the woman is to remain single.

In some circumstances reconciliation may even be possible. Paul also tells the men that they may not divorce and discard their wives. We have talked before about Jesus teaching on divorce. What God has joined together, let no-one separate. God has shown us his love, commitment and loyalty in Jesus. If we are his followers he calls us to live out that same love and commitment in our human relationships. We may sometimes fail. Sometimes it may be impossible, but he calls us to hold out that ideal so that in the church, in the community of his people the world can see how God wants people to live.

Then Paul goes on to advise how that principle can be worked out in the different situations of the folk who belong to the church. Some have partners who are not Christians. Paul tells them that it would be wrong to divorce them. They should demonstrate the love of Christ to them in their marriage relationship. Paul goes on to make a very profound statement.

He says that the unbelieving partner will be sanctified through their believing husband or wife. What does that mean? The scholars tell us there is a link up with the Old Testament idea that things that were holy or ceremonially clean could be contaminated or made unclean by contact with things that were contaminated. For example, if a person touched a dead body they became unclean. Some things however that were exceptionally sacred or holy had the effect of making anything that came into contact with them holy as well, such things as the alter in the temple had this effect according to the Old Testament.

In the time of Jesus, the religious people put far more emphasis on the need to avoid any contact with objects or people who might in some way defile or contaminate them. They avoided contact and held themselves aloof from all sorts of people whom they regarded as sinful.

Jesus on the other hand embraced these outsiders. Instead of being contaminated by them, on many occasions he won them for the kingdom of God. Paul is saying to the Christians at Corinth, don’t abandon your unbelieving partners. They are people for who Christ died. Maybe they will come to know Jesus through you. On the other hand, if your unbelieving partner decides to walk away, if they reject you and your faith, you must let them go. The gospel is a message of freedom, and a message of peace.

Paul reminds the Corinthians that in most aspects of their lives God knows and accepts them as they are. Some are slaves; some are masters. Some are Jewish; some are gentiles. Some are married; some are single. But God loves and accepts them each the way that they are. That is true for us. Sometimes we wish our situation were different. We feel if only we could change our circumstances. If only we could make a clean start. We may even come across people who tell us that if we only made this change or that our lives and our faith would be revolutionised.

On some occasions that may even be true, but in the vast majority of cases, God wants us to prove his faithfulness in the situation we are, surrounded by the people we know. That’s where God calls us to live out our faith and to show Christ’s love.

It seems that when Paul wrote this letter problems were looming for the Christians at Corinth. In verse 26 he talks about the present crisis. It is difficult to know exactly what Paul is talking about. It could well be that they were facing persecution of some sort. Paul has been asked to advise what ‘virgins’ should do. In this part of the letter he attempts to answer that question. By his answer, we can probably assume that Paul has been asked about couples who were not married, but betrothed to each other. Equivalent to what used to be understood here as engaged couples.

He answers the question however in the context of a crisis situation. Our world is remembering the D Day landings that happened 60 years ago today. In the wartime, our nation was faced with a crisis situation; the question young people faced then about whether to get married or not had to be thought of in a different way. Married couples had to spend months and often years apart from each other.

Paul does not give specific instructions, to people in this situation. Rather he gives general advice. The general advice is that it is best for people to remain single. It spares them the anxieties and responsibilities that marriage entails. Marriage is still an option that is open to them, but it is likely to bring it’s own heartaches and hurts.

Above all Paul reminds them of the option of choosing to put the work of God’s kingdom at the heart of their thinking. Paul himself had done that. He had found joy in that. God doesn’t call us to serve him to deprive us of anything. Rather he rewards with blessings that are of eternal value.

The call of God to the Corinthians, and to us here today is to let Christ’s love be lived out in our relationships. To be discerning about ourselves, our abilities and limitation, and to live according to the gifts God has given us. But above all we are called to be devoted to the Lord, and to find freedom in our devotion to him.

Human relationships are for a lifetime. Our relationship with him is forever.

Amen.

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